Self-care tug of war

 I've been thinking lately about how to weave more self-care in to my week. I know it's important, but how do you actually DO it?

There are so many positives that come with it. We see articles about it on social media all the time. And I know when I take time for myself, I am more patient and a better wife and mother. 

Sometimes it makes me feel so guilty though!  I feel like I'm being selfish.  I feel like I am ignoring my family's needs. Way to go, mom guilt!  Mom guilt is the worst. 

Yesterday something struck me as I was feeding my baby.  I was thinking how if I didn't take time to make sure I was hydrated and feed myself, I wouldn't be able to provide any milk for my baby.  In other words, if I wasn't properly taking care of myself, then I physically wouldn't have the ability to provide nourishment for my newborn. 

And there's an important lesson for me in that!  I am much more useful and doing a better job when I am properly taking time and care for myself. 

What really stuck out to me was also this: I can feed myself and my baby at the SAME TIME.  I don't always have to say "Me first".  When she is crying, I'm not going to say "You have to wait while I eat a whole meal". I can alternatively say, "Let's fix me a quick snack and we can eat at the same time". 

I think we can change the narrative to "Let's do self care together". It doesn't have to look like me leaving the house to go get my nails done. It can be something I do with my family sometimes.  (Don't get me wrong, I still need to get out of the house alone once in a while!!!). But the thing is, maybe it's easier to do small things, not the lavish things.  Does that make sense?

Some reasons why it feels impossible to fit self care in:

Guilt
Time away from kids
Time away from spouse
Money
Lack of time in general
Planning
Guilt

Some ideas to realistically have time for self care:

Take an hour to read a book regardless what everyone else is doing
Paint nails with my daughter
Play a game I enjoy with my boys
Take time to get ready in the morning
Go on dates with my husband
Take time to eat a decent lunch, even if it takes some extra time to make.
Do something I enjoy at night when the kids are in bed. 

Hope that helps someone else in this tug of war!  Thanks for following along on my journey to be a a better Mom and Wife!

Lots of Love,
Britanna

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